Think of your inner critic like an onion
There's layers to it
At Fuck Off Russell, we talk about a huge range of topics, from creativity to love languages. But our core mission will always be to help you get to know your inner critic.
Not that we’ve been distracted (your inner critic affects pretty much every area of your life, you see), but since we’ve got a fair few new followers round here (hey!), now seems like a good time to visit/revisit some foundational thinking.
So in this post, we’re going to explore the first step of building a relationship with your inner critic: awareness.
What is inner critic awareness?
From breathwork to therapy, there are lots of tools that will help you manage a rogue inner critic. And there are lots of approaches to taking back its power—from thanking it, to telling it to f*ck off.
But these tools and approaches don’t work without awareness. First, you need to get good at spotting your inner critic: when it shows up, what it tells you, and how it affects you.
Inner critic awareness is a key part of self-awareness. It’s a lifelong practice, but strengthening this habit can be transformative to your confidence, resilience and overall wellbeing.
What are the layers to inner critic awareness?
Think of growing your inner critic awareness like peeling away the layers of an onion. There’s a top layer of signs and red flags that are easier to spot. But as your awareness evolves, you’ll find that your inner critic’s voice and power runs deep, shaping different areas of your life in ways you might not have considered before.
Ready to start peeling?
Layer 1: voices
When we hear the term “inner critic”, most of us can grasp what it means straight away: that annoying, nagging voice in our heads that always has something negative to say.
By identifying the inner critic as a “voice” we’re externalising this narrative—recognising that it’s part of us, but not our whole or “true” self.
At this level, the inner critic tends to manifest through verbal signs, like:
“I look like shit”
“Everyone on this tube carriage is staring at me”
“Why do I always go red when it’s my turn to speak in meetings?”
A lot of this is self-talk happening in our own heads, but you might sometimes voice it out loud to other people.
Tip: Try to notice every time that voice pops up, so you can start registering it as your inner critic. What kinds of things does it comment on—career, body image, love life? How does it sound—whiny, spiteful, lecturing? This is the beginning of getting to know your inner critic, and looking at its narrative more objectively.
Layer 2: feelings
When you think about the examples above, you can likely attach a feeling or emotional state to them, like embarrassment, self-consciousness, shyness or low self-esteem.
And this is the next layer of inner critic awareness: understanding the links between your inner critic and your wider emotional landscape or headspace. You’ll find that the inner critic is often at the root of lots of feelings you experience.
Take feelings of stress and anxiety, which are often caused by the inner critic relentless fixating, exaggerating, catastrophising or overanalysing. Let’s say you’ve got a difficult boss who micromanages you, doesn’t give you any autonomy and is always extra critical of your work. Your inner critic will likely take what your boss says as gospel, telling you things like “You always do a terrible job”, “You should be hitting those targets” or “They’re going to fire you”.
Dealing with a horrible boss and a horrible inner critic is enough to make anyone stressed, right?!
Tip: You can use embodiment as a way to get in touch with your emotions. If you’re feeling stressed, notice what’s going on in your body—are your palms sweaty, is your breathing short and shallow, are your shoulders tense?
Stress is controlled by your nervous system, which triggers either your fight or flight or rest and relaxation response when presented with danger/safety. Learning techniques to activate these responses (like breathing exercises) can help you regulate your emotions and quieten your inner critic.
Layer 3: patterns
The third stage in building inner critic awareness is recognising how its narrative impacts your life as a whole. Which emotions show up on a regular basis? How do they shape your behaviour? And can you notice any patterns in your behaviour and experiences?
It’s at this layer that you start to realise how much power the inner critic can exert on your sense of self and the way you live.
Take dating. If you’ve got an anxious attachment style, all those negative thoughts that they don’t really like you or you don’t deserve them will come from your inner critic.
Or procrastination. If you find yourself putting off starting that podcast or running that marathon, it probably stems from perfectionism—another trait strongly correlated with the inner critic.
Here are some more problem areas where your inner critic might be running the show:
You’ll find plenty more in our archive.
Tip: The underlying narrative of a lot of our struggles in life is “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t belong”. These limiting beliefs are often tied to your inner critic (although there are other parts, like your inner child).
Try to identify which limiting beliefs are holding you back in life, and how your inner critic vocalises them. This stage of awareness is hard and it’s a process to unlearn or rewrite these beliefs—they may never fully leave you. But get to know your inner critic, and you’re on the right track to making some big, meaningful changes in life.
Stay tuned
Reading through these stages, was there anything that resonated with you? Which of your own beliefs, emotions and experiences came to mind?
In the coming weeks and months, we’ll be sharing some more key principles of inner critic work, drawing from different schools of psychology. Stay tuned to learn more about where your inner critic comes from, what drives it (hint: it’s not all bad), and various tools and strategies to manage it.